Same Sex Marriage – A Personal Perspective

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Years ago, someone asked me what I thought of same sex marriage. I blithely replied “I reckon its’ probably like normal marriage but with less arguing over who leaves the toilet seat up and a bit more anal”.

These days, whilst I am ashamed at my casual indifference, I don’t think I’m far off the mark.

I was a complete ratbag before I met my husband David. I ran with the “wrong crowd”, I probably kept the Medellin drug cartel in the black, I partied until dawn and completely lacked ambition and motivation.

It was only once I formed a life-long partnership, with David guiding, encouraging and loving me did I get my life on track. I was loved. I was cared for. I finally cared about someone else.

We celebrated our commitment to each other before family, friends and the law. Besides the birth of my two sons and the Bros concert of November 3rd 1998, my wedding was the most joyous day of my life.

Yes, David and I have certainly had our ups and downs, but we’d made a promise of “until death us do part” Yes, I often wished myself to be the cause of his death, but still, to us, marriage was the most solemn of vows.

Seventeen years later, I see those same parallels in my best friend David (aka Gay Dave) to differentiate him from my curmudgeonly husband (aka Old Dave).

Gay Dave is a little bit younger than me (he pretends he doesn’t know what Gilligan’s Island is, he does, he’s a liar and he’s BTW he is 33) but the parallels between Ratbag Lisa and Gay Dave are quite startling.

When I first met Gay Dave, he was a wide eyed ingenue, new to the big smoke of Sydney with those wide eyes almost permanently glued on Grindr – believe me nothing says after-dinner conversation like “there’s a big Bear Top just at the next table !”

Gay Dave was out every night of the week. He partied too hard. He’d turn up looking like he’d been pulled through a bush backwards – most likely by that Big Bear Top.

I would implore Gay Dave to look after himself, save some money, buy a home, live the fucking dream ! But I was admonished for being a “fun sheriff” and soon learned to hold my tongue. Many a fretful night was spent by me worrying about what the future would hold for Gay Dave.

And then a little over two years ago, something magical happened. Gay Dave met Kyle.

If I could have manifested the dream guy for Gay Dave, it would have been Kyle – Kyle was Gay Dave’s Old Dave !

As soon as they started dating exclusively, Gay Dave became Better Gay Dave. He was more thoughtful, more focused and deliriously happy.

With Kyle behind him (don’t read in to that – I’m simply being metaphorical) Gay Dave became a better son, a better brother, a better uncle and a better friend. He soared up the corporate ladder and his sense of self-worth bloomed, from my perspective, as someone who loved him dearly, it was a beautiful sight to behold.

Before I had a front-row seat to their love story (ok, not so front-seat, I’m not a perve) I didn’t really think about the merits of same-sex marriage, but having seen the transformative effects on two people I love, I now realise that same-sex marriage is a no-brainer.

Gay Dave and Kyle should have every right to celebrate their love by getting married. They to, should be able to, in front of family and friends and the law make that solemn vow to “love, honour and cherish”.

I will fight to the marrow of my bones to ensure that Gay Dave and Kyle have what Old Dave and I have.

If you feel the same way, I encourage you to join me in supporting Australian Marriage Equality – www.australianmarriageequality.org

Love Lisa xxx